It seems like the queer/trans community is the only marginalised community that has to bend over backwards to accommodate allies. Allies are NOT part of the community, they are allies *to it*. Allies should not feel entitled to the services, resources, memberships, etc of queer/trans organisations. Allies have to understand this. The hurt feelings of allies do not trump the needs of LGBTQ+ people. Allies cannot be dictating the decisions of queer/trans organizations. Likewise, LGBTQ+ need to stop catering to allies. The amount of LGBTQ+ people (mostly cis gay men) I’ve met who are adamant for ally accommodation over other people in the community is horrifying. We have to stop dancing around their feelings. We do not need them. Any “ally” that makes people in the community feel unsafe or further marginalised so they can be accommodated is not an ally.
Not to diminish the work of allies who know what’s what. I’ve know more awesome allies then I do terrible “allies”.